What to do if your partner is too clingy?


Different people may have different responses to the question that their partner is too clingy.It might be fine for someone who wants to be with their partner all the time.Some people may feel stressed because they may want to have some space and freedom for themselves;Other people may feel good sometimes, feel more secure, and sometimes feel stressed, a little want to run away.In fact, if your partner is too clingy, it is not necessarily a problem, similar to my honey, your arsenic.However, if you feel that your partner is too clingy and this has become a burden to you, you may need to deal with this problem on your own.As for clingy partners, we might want to understand why they are clingy first.If a person can feel enough love in the process of growing up, and also feel that the living environment is relatively safe, then when they grow up, they will naturally individualize, and eventually form an independent personality.An independent personality has a certain sense of boundary, similar to me being me, you being you. Although we are lovers, relatives, friends and so on, we still have different ideas, different living habits, different viewpoints and so on.However, if a person does not complete individuation, he may unconsciously seek a symbiotic and integrated relationship to make himself feel safe.In other words, if your partner is overly clingy, there may be a feeling that he or she is pushing too far beyond your personal boundaries and affecting your integrity as a person, akin to the feeling that he or she wants to be completely with you and eventually makes you less than completely your own.This on the one hand, as if each other love you very much, but on the other hand also shows that the other party may not be enough mature, have not formed independent personality, or internal anxiety there are too many, so the other party may, by means of the symbiotic integration with you let you become a part of each other, so each other can have enough sense of security, can feel the presence of his is stable.In other words, if your partner is clingy, it’s probably because they need you and depend on you.What to do depends on how you view the relationship.Do you still want to be with your partner for the rest of your life, given your partner’s overall state at the moment?If your partner’s clinginess is overwhelming you, and you don’t feel secure enough, and you don’t have enough time and energy to take care of them so that they can rely on you, you may also choose to give up.But if you still want to be with your partner for the long haul, there are good things about your relationship that make you want to keep working on it, even if you feel pressured to be clingy.Then I can try my best to adjust the mode of getting along with each other and establish a sense of boundary between each other. At the same time, I can also find some ways and means to heal the possible wounds of each other and help each other to form a mature personality.As for building a sense of boundary between each other, you may need to learn non-violent communication first. Through non-violent communication, you can make the other party understand your ideas, your needs, your emotions and feelings in a non-hurtful way.For example, you might say to your partner: honey, I’m glad to see that you want to be with me every day, and that you want to spend more time with me every day to talk and go out with me. I feel that our relationship is very important to you.It’s just that the frequency of seeing each other every day is slowly becoming a bit stressful for me;For the present, I still need to spend some time to work hard, to study, to be alone, to socialize with ordinary friends, to do their own hobbies and so on;You must be the most important thing to me, but I need to take care of other things as well.So, can we appropriately reduce the frequency of our communication and meeting?Maybe every two days or every three days or something like that.By letting the other person understand your thoughts and feelings, let each other work together for each other’s relationship and work together for each other’s relationship.If your partner is not only clingy, but also capricious, unreasonable, etc., then your partner may not know how to manage a relationship, this part also needs to take some time to guide.If the other person gives you too much pressure, even some paranoia, compulsion, serious anxiety, depression, etc., maybe you also need to try psychological counseling, can be two people together to do intimate relationship counseling.I wish you a good understanding of the author: Chen Xiaopeng (emotional consultant/psychological consultant)

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